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I promise that as you diligently work to remodel your home into a center of gospel learning, over time your Sabbath days will truly be a delight.

—Russell M. Nelson, “Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints”

As individuals and families engage in . . . personal worship, and joyful family time, the Sabbath day will truly be a delight.

—Quentin L. Cook, “Deep and Lasting Conversion to Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ”

In previous chapters, we heard the voice of our present prophet warning us of challenges ahead while optimistically urging us to strengthen our faith and to deepen our conversion through individual and family gospel study and worship. An additional prophetic priority in recent years has been to urge deeper conversion through joyful, home-centered Sabbath observance. In this chapter, we examine this invitation and explore how some exemplary families model it. We devote most of the chapter to an in-depth exploration of the ways that our Jewish friends observe the Sabbath (Shabbat). Then we ask some questions to encourage consideration of how readers might observe joyful Sabbath practices. In the following chapter, we address ways that careful, joyful practice of the Come, Follow Me approach can be a blessing for Latter-day Saint families.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, “One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may.”[1] While we should cherish the guidance we receive from our own religious beliefs, scriptures, and Church leaders, we also can benefit from welcoming virtuous direction, inspiration, and comfort from many different sources. In speaking about our friends of other faiths, President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, “Look for their strengths and their virtues, and you will find strength and virtues that will be helpful in your own life.”[2]

As keeping the Sabbath day holy has become a profound point of emphasis over the past few years, Apostles have repeatedly pointed to our religiously observant[3] Jewish brothers and sisters as a model of “delighting in the Sabbath.” Notably, in a 2015 general conference address, Elder Quentin L. Cook recalled the Jewish Sabbath celebration he and his wife, Mary, attended in the home of their Jewish friends Robert and Diane Abrams. Elder Cook said of this experience,

It began by blessing the family and singing a Sabbath hymn. . . . The most poignant scriptures read . . . were from Isaiah, declaring the Sabbath a delight, and from Ezekiel, that the Sabbath “shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am the Lord your God.”

The overwhelming impression from this wonderful evening was of family love, devotion, and accountability to God.[4]

So positive was this experience for the Cooks that there seemed to be more than a spark of what has been called “holy envy”[5] regarding this beautiful Jewish celebration of the Sabbath.

In this chapter we will not make extensive connections between how Jewish families observe Shabbat and how Latter-day Saint families might observe the Sabbath. This is because Sabbath observance is unique across families and cultures and because we prefer not to be prescriptive about something so sacred and unique. We invite our readers to consider and to converse as families about how they might enhance joyful Sabbath observance in their current situations.

Jewish Observance of the Sabbath

Our Jewish friends have millennia of Sabbath observance to draw from. Jewish authors have written many books and thousands of articles on Shabbat (a Google search of “Shabbat” returned more than nineteen million results). We have space to mention only some of the highlights and to mention only a few sources in the endnotes. In several publications written both to our fellow members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints[6] and to broader audiences,[7] we are on record as holding a great deal of “holy envy” for how our Jewish friends observe the Sabbath as well as other aspects of Jewish practice.

From the ancient empires of Egypt, Babylon, and Rome to the more recent Holocaust, Jews have been attacked, persecuted, disenfranchised, and banished from society. They have experienced devastating pogroms, had their synagogues burned and bombed, and been expelled from society in many other ways. Through all this, observant Jews have remembered and honored the Sabbath day. We can learn much from them and their dedication to this holy day.

Sabbath observance was one of the Ten Commandments given at Sinai and includes the injunction to “remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. . . . The seventh day is the sabbath unto the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work” (Exodus 20:8, 10). Incorporating the divine into weekly Shabbat observance is key for many observant Jewish families. In her book on Jewish family life, Blu Greenberg stated:

Shabbat in a traditional Jewish household . . . comes fifty-two times more often than any other special day in a Jew’s life. As such, it occupies, preoccupies, and marks our lives in ways more pervasive and more encompassing than one would ever imagine. Although we are often not conscious of it ourselves, our very lives revolve around Shabbat, even as we throw ourselves with full energy into the weekday world.[8]

The Friday evening Shabbat ritual held by observant Jews is among the most ancient continuing weekly family religious practices. The Jewish Sabbath begins at sundown on Friday evening and continues until sundown on Saturday evening. It has been argued that the practice of Shabbat is a reason that Jewish families have remained strong despite repeated anti-Semitic efforts to destroy Judaism and the Jewish people. Indeed, among Jews there is a saying that “more than Jews have kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jews.”[9]

Shabbat (also Shabbos or Sabbath), meaning “rest” in Hebrew, is the seventh day of the week. In the sacred Jewish text of Genesis, God labored for six days or “times” to create the world. On the seventh day, God rested and marked that day as holy. According to Jewish scripture, God commanded the Israelites to refrain from working on the seventh day. Since antiquity, many Sabbath laws, observances, and traditions have developed under the role of rabbinic authority, including lighting candles, making challah (braided bread), studying Torah (scripture), singing zemiroth (religious songs), praying, blessing children, and eating special Shabbat foods.[10] Typically on Friday just before sundown, Shabbat is ushered in by women (often the mothers of the family) who light two candles and say prayers and blessings. Many Jewish families also have a Havdalah ceremony to end the Sabbath,[11] when the father lights a Havdalah braided candle and says four blessings.[12]

In his book The Sabbath, Jewish scholar Abraham Joshua Heschel writes, “Judaism is a religion of time aiming at the sanctification of time.” He continues, “Judaism teaches us to be attached to holiness in time,” and he refers to the Sabbath as a “palace in time.” Heschel also indicates that after creating the earth, God chose to sanctify time—the seventh day or Sabbath—rather than space (for example, this mountain, that valley, the sun, or the moon). Heschel writes, “Six days a week we wrestle with the world, wringing profit from the earth; on the Sabbath we especially care for the seed of eternity planted in the soul.”[13] Others have referred to the Sabbath as a temple in time or as an island of sacred time in a sea of secularism. Given the spiritual rest available within its sacred walls, we could think of the temple as a “Sabbath in space.”

There are interesting parallels here to President Nelson’s plea for families to transform their homes into a sanctuary of faith and the associated promises and blessings President Nelson identified:

The new home-centered, Church-supported integrated curriculum has the potential to unleash the power of families, as each family follows through conscientiously and carefully to transform their home into a sanctuary of faith. I promise that as you diligently work to remodel your home into a center of gospel learning, over time your Sabbath days will truly be a delight. Your children will be excited to learn and to live the Savior’s teachings, and the influence of the adversary in your life and in your home will decrease. Changes in your family will be dramatic and sustaining.[14]

Our Interviews with Jewish Families

For twenty years, we have had the joy of interviewing and learning from more than two hundred diverse families for the American Families of Faith Project[15]—thirty of these have been observant Jewish families. One of the many strengths and virtues of observant Jewish families is the way they strive to keep the Sabbath by making it a joyous holy day. We were sufficiently impressed by what they taught us about the meaning and activities of Shabbat that we published an article referring to Shabbat as “the weekly family ritual par excellence.”[16]

Like Elder Cook, we confess admiration for how our Jewish friends observe the Sabbath, but neither we nor Elder Cook are alone in our respect and admiration. In a BYU class we teach called “Family Life in World Religions,”[17] we read a book called How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household by Blu Greenberg, an Orthodox Jewish wife and mother. She teaches that the Sabbath is a joyous holy day and that “ordinary experiences often become sublime, because of the special aura created by Shabbat.”[18] Many of our BYU students are inspired[19] with how observant Jewish families combine the seemingly disparate processes of both avoiding activities that are fine on other days but not the Sabbath and engaging in unique activities that help make the Sabbath day joyous and spiritual. Some of these differences involve the use of technology and media.

A Few Notes on Electronics and the Sabbath

BYU professors Sarah Coyne and Laura Padilla-Walker are preeminent scholars of how media and technology influence children and families. Their recent review of scores of related studies on media use in families discussed the ways that media can facilitate family connections and enjoyment. However, they also discussed two disturbing realities: First, thirteen- to eighteen-year-old youth are, on average, engaging in nearly nine hours of electronic media time per day (six hours for eight- to twelve-year-olds).[20] Second, many relationships are harmed by misuse or overuse of electronic devices. So prevalent is this relational damage and interference that it has been named “technoference.”[21] How does this relate to the Sabbath?

One of our Orthodox Jewish colleagues wrote to us a few years ago:

Our [electronic] devices are so addictive, that some Orthodox young people are having a hard time turning off their phones on Shabbat, to the concern of their elders. . . . One of the key healing functions of Shabbat in our era for observant Jews is that devices (phones, computers, tablets, etc.) are turned off for the full duration of Shabbat. This is crucial to the sanctity and peace of the day. . . . Shabbat offers a day of rest to the brain as well as the soul.

Note the similarity between the spirit of this reflection from our Orthodox Jewish friend and the concerns of President Nelson noted by Elder Cook:

In addition to encouraging a loving atmosphere in the home, President Nelson has focused on limiting media use that disrupts our primary purposes. One adjustment that will benefit almost any family is to make the internet, social media, and television a servant instead of a distraction or, even worse, a master. The war for the souls of all, but particularly children, is often [fought] in the home. As parents we need to make sure that media content is wholesome, age appropriate, and consistent with the loving atmosphere we are trying to create.[22]

For prophets and apostles, it seems that the quality of media used is of at least as much concern as the quantity.

The effort to place electronic media and devices in the “servant” role instead of the “master” role is a vital one throughout the week, but it has particular importance on the Sabbath. All of us can bless our families and the rising generations through prayerful self-examination and conversation on this issue. To borrow the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates’s phrase, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”[23]

Insights on the Sabbath from Jewish Youth and Families

Indeed, intentionality and focus are of central importance in sacred study, learning, and Sabbath worship for members of our faith and for our Jewish friends. We now shift from the wisdom of intentionally keeping technology in the “servant” position to other Sabbath-related points worthy of our consideration and efforts. Three Orthodox Jewish young adults we interviewed with their parents offered their perspective of Shabbat:

Josiah (nineteen-year-old son): For me, Shabbat is the pinnacle of everything. . . . We all spend time together. We have three meals together. We play [games].

Nate (twenty-year-old son): I don’t know if there’s any particular practice . . . �ٳ󲹳�’s . . . more meaningful than [Shabbat] to me personally.

Zvi (twenty-year-old son): Shabbat has always been the thing that I keep doing for the family’s sake, because whether or not I care about it for religious purposes, it’s such a big deal on a family level that �ٳ󲹳�’s not something you can cut out.

These three emerging adults emphasized that they valued Shabbat because it provided opportunities for them to spend time together with their families—even though it cost them their electronic devices for a day.

An Orthodox Jewish mother, Mara, stated:

I like family togetherness. And I think that one of the only ways to achieve that, given the lifestyle of most Americans, is if one can focus on a particular time, a particular holiday, and use those as a vehicle to explore the holiday, to explore the tradition, and to explore each other, and to be with each other. So I value buying into Shabbat and the holy days as a way to bring us closer together.

An Orthodox Jewish couple, Alissa and Yigal, related their Shabbat traditions of unplugging, singing, and dancing with their children:

Alissa: For sure, Shabbat observance [is meaningful to us]. . . . We light Shabbat candles, and we are not on the computer, and we don’t drive anywhere. [We] don’t talk on the phone or go shopping or do weekly things, and that is very important personally and as a couple. . . . Now that our older daughter is bigger, we incorporated singing together on Shabbat. . . . Recently we had friends over, and we all started singing together, and they said, “We don’t sing well.” But all of us are tone deaf. . . . [The quality of the singing is not] the issue. It[’s] . . . the energy. Singing religious songs is really significant to me.

Yigal: Definitely singing together is important. . . . Also, another thing is kind of minor, but [it] is really beautiful. . . . On Friday night, right after we light candles, we create a little dance with our kids and us. We dance for a minute or two while singing Shabbat songs. They love to do it, and it’s such a good thing. There are so many reasons why we love [our Shabbat dance]. Number one, we love it because we made it up. . . . So that is why I love the dancing[24]—because it’s something that we love doing and our children love doing. It injects our Judaism and our family with a sense of joy with the traditions.

Another Jewish mother and father explained:

Linda: [Shabbat] brings you to the closeness of the marriage and the family, things like lighting Shabbat candles or being together during Shabbat. During Shabbat you . . . get that special feeling, . . . that kind of closeness, that sense of unity.

Saul: There’s a special meaning to Sabbath traditions when you’re doing it [as] a family.

For these families, Shabbat is not somber but is a true delight. Candles, prayers, food, music, dancing, and singing breathe life and energy into their Sabbath worship.

In addition to the sacred but joyous reverie, another meaningful Shabbat practice mentioned by several participants was children’s blessings. Few rituals capture and reflect the passing on of an intergenerational legacy of faith and the deeply held Jewish value of v’shinantam l’vanecha (“You shall teach your children”) as richly as the Shabbat blessings of children by their parents. Indeed, Shabbat can be thought of as an intergenerational chain going back through history.

During the blessing, after placing hands on the head of the child, the parent speaks the following words (typically in Hebrew):

• For boys, the introductory statement is “May you be like Ephraim and Manasseh.”
• For girls, the introductory statement is “May you be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.”

For both boys and girls, the rest of the formal blessing consists of the words of the priestly blessing that God commanded Aaron and his descendants to speak to the people of Israel:

The Lord bless thee, and keep thee;

The Lord make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee;

The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. (Numbers 6:24–26)[25]

In traditional (Orthodox) Jewish families, typically only the father blesses the children, while in more progressive families (Reform, Conservative), fathers or mothers or both bless their children. Here is how one popular Jewish website describes blessing children:

The blessing is performed differently in every family. In some traditional homes, only the father blesses the children. In other families, both parents give blessings—either together and in unison, or first one parent, followed by the other. In some homes the mother blesses the girls and the father blesses the boys.

Usually the person giving the blessing places one or both hands on the child’s head. Some parents bless each child in succession, working from oldest to youngest. Others bless all of the girls together, and all of the boys together.

After the blessing, some parents take a moment to whisper something to their child—praising him or her for something he or she did during the week, or conveying some extra encouragement and love. Almost every family concludes the blessing with a kiss or a hug.[26]

Several parents that we interviewed established traditions in their homes of blessing their children on the Sabbath, as illustrated by the comment from the following Reform couple:

David: We [specially] bless the kids . . . on Friday nights.

Rebecca: The blessings that we do on Friday night . . . I never even knew existed as a child. It is a special time when the parents bless the children. It is a beautifully wonderful and tender moment that we have really come to [love] and our children have come to expect. [It’s] not just that we put our hands on their heads and bless them. . . . Each of us says something to each child about something that we’re proud of that they’ve done this week. [The Shabbat blessing is] just a wonderful thing that . . . we didn’t make that up. . . . If we just look at what our tradition teaches us, it was already there. Jewish parents have been doing that for thousands of years.

Another Reform Jewish couple discussed Shabbat blessings of their children in detail:

Scott: Most Friday nights we do a blessing with the kids. [We] bless them and whisper what they did good for the week in their ear, and they look forward to that.

Julie: In . . . the Torah, there’s a blessing. . . . It’s a blessing in Hebrew, but it [says], “May God bless you and keep you. May his light shine upon you and be gracious unto you.” It’s the priestly benediction, so we say that blessing, and then we do whisper something [extra] in each of their ears. . . . It’s [often] some kindness that [they] did. It’s to [help them] . . . always remember that the things that we told them that we were proud of them for were . . . acts that God would be proud of you [for]—how you acted to somebody else [with] kindness [and] honesty . . .

Scott: Now they look forward to it. I think if it was just a blessing, they wouldn’t care.

Julie: So the [extra] thing that we whisper in their ear is not like “Oh, I’m so glad you made an A on the spelling test”; it’s some kindness that [they] did. . . . So you don’t have to be a great athlete or a great student; it’s [about] just being a good person. . . .

It’s funny, because [one of our sons] is really serious about what we whisper in his ear, and if you whisper something vague [or] general, like “I’m really proud of how you were nice to your brother this week,” then he’ll say, “Like when?” . . . You can’t get away with [it] if you didn’t pay attention that week to something. It really takes a lot of work to have something [specific to say]. So [you try to] . . . catch them being really good.

For Rebecca and David, for Scott and Julie, there seems to be a sacred but also pronounced child-centric emphasis with Shabbat. Their emphasis on speaking repeatedly to children about what they are proud of them for echoes the way that Heavenly Father, whenever He speaks of the Savior, says, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17; see also Matthew 17:5; 3 Nephi 11:7).

What does the reverence of Shabbat mean for children in such families? One young woman from another family explained the following:

Hannah (seventeen-year-old Conservative Jewish daughter): The rest of the week [is a] totally different time. [When] we have Shabbat . . . [it is] different. We don’t have to worry about the rest of the world. The rest of the world goes on, but we are here with our family and our religion. That’s just . . . it’s our time.

Note the demarcation of both time and space in Hannah’s description: there is “the rest of the week” and there is “the rest of the world,” but on Shabbat, Hannah explains, “We are here with our family and our religion. . . . It’s our time.” With three “our” references in one quote, Hannah places her own adolescent stamp of familial “we-ness” and unity on Shabbat. A Conservative Jewish mother named Sarah shared the following:

When we take the time out, when we light the candles Friday night, �ٳ󲹳�’s a time that I feel really close to [my children]. . . . When we sit across the table from each other, my husband and I, and the Sabbath candles are lit, and I see the kids, there is something I get from that that is so deep. It’s just a feeling that [all is right in the world]. . . . It doesn’t matter what else is going on. Right in that circle . . . it’s awe-inspiring.

Sarah’s husband, Daniel, later emphasized, “I don’t know that the Sabbath meal is a religious experience for most people, but for me it’s the heart of religion.”

For Sarah and Daniel, “the heart of their religion beats strongest not in the synagogue, but around their family dinner table—which according to Jewish tradition represents a sacred altar, a place of communion between God and His children.”[27]

Many participants commented on how religious observance and rituals contributed to the success of their marriage, including a Jewish mother named Asha, who discussed the role of ritual and sacred routine. In response to the question “Are there ways that your religious beliefs or practices help you to avoid or reduce marital conflict?” Asha responded:

The first thing that comes to mind is the routine. And another thing that I’ve come to understand and believe is that religious belief and truly religious moments don’t just come from . . . nowhere. One has to be in the habit of religious practice and religious observance. . . . If you wait for the mood to hit you, it never will. But if you go, if you observe, if you practice on a regular . . . basis, then you’re open to God. . . .

I think that our routine of going to synagogue every week, that it is something we do whether we really feel like it or not. . . . It is what we chose to do. It’s about the Sabbath. It’s what you do on the Sabbath. It is such a calming experience when tensions are high, when frustration is high.

For Asha, the Sabbath was a “calming experience.” For a husband named Israel, “the rules” of Jewish tradition reportedly helped him and his wife avoid conflict. He explained:

Things that might have been conflicts before aren’t even issues, because we know the rules. What are we doing on Saturday? Well, �ٳ󲹳�’s not an issue. Where and what are we eating? It’s not an issue. . . . This is the way it is. I want to go [somewhere, so] we look at the calendar. “Oh no, we can’t go here because it’s yom tov, it’s a holiday,” [but] it’s . . . OK. It’s not a conflict [between us]. These are not issues, because there’s a higher authority that we all are agreed with. That’s our priority.

Religious observance not only influenced marriage; such efforts also facilitated peaceful parent-child relationships.[28] One mother, Lila, explained, “[Talking] about Jewish values as a family . . . Shabbat . . . pausing and coming together . . . [helps us] when conflict arises, because we are all there . . . together as a family.”

Shabbat traditions like eating family meals, playing games, singing, and blessing the children are (at their best) special, even sacred. In the words of Blu Greenberg,

There is something . . . about the power of habit and routine. . . . There are some things that spontaneity simply cannot offer—a steadiness and stability which, at its very least, has the emotional reward of familiarity, and at best, creates the possibility of investing time with special meaning, experience with special value, and life with a moment of transcendence.[29]

What We Can Learn from Our Jewish Friends[30]

The Lord desires that we “call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord” (Isaiah 58:13). He invites (even commands) us to keep the Sabbath “with a glad heart and a cheerful countenance” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:15). The words “delight” and “glad” and “cheerful” suggest to us that the Lord views Sabbath observance as a path toward spiritual joy and pleasure and that He desires for us to approach Sabbath observance with an attitude of delightful enjoyment. Elder Quentin L. Cook has noted that

a most remarkable change has occurred in the Church. This has been in the response of the members to renewed emphasis on the Sabbath by . . . President Russell M. Nelson’s challenge to make the Sabbath a delight. Many members understand that truly keeping the Sabbath day holy is a refuge from the storms of this life. It is also a sign of our devotion to our Father in Heaven and an increased understanding of the sacredness of sacrament meeting. . . . We have a long way to go, but we have a wonderful beginning.[31]

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can learn from their Jewish friends about how to make the Sabbath a delight by unitedly choosing ways to make it special, joyous, spiritual, and peaceful. Of course, each family will choose the ways they feel they can best make the Sabbath a delight.

In the next chapter, we will hear testimonies from an array of members of the Church of Jesus Christ regarding how specific prophetic promises are being fulfilled in their personal and family lives. Fittingly, one of those promises is that our “Sabbath days will be a delight.”[32]

Questions to Encourage Contemplation and Conversation

1. Each week Orthodox Jews take a one-day break from electronic devices to focus solely on faith and family without distraction. How might doing likewise enrich our own church and family worship, our level of sacred focus, and our depth of relationships?
2. To help make the Sabbath an “island of sacred time” and a respite from the “wrestle with the world,” on that day observant Jews do not discuss “the cares of the world,” including money, business, or related concerns. This allows time, energy, and focus to discuss heavenly, eternal, and spiritual things that bring deeper delight. The Book of Mormon states that “we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ” (2 Nephi 25:26). How can Latter-day Saint families make the Sabbath a delight as they rejoice in Christ by talking of His life, miracles, Atonement, and Resurrection?
3. Jewish families often share the Sabbath by inviting guests. One way for Latter-day Saint families to make the Sabbath a delight is to invite others into their homes. Inviting those of our family and friends—Latter-day Saint friends and friends of other faiths—who would be particularly blessed by being with an active Latter-day Saint family on the Sabbath is especially delightful. These gatherings could include shared participation in Come, Follow Me. How else might Latter-day Saint families invite others to share the Sabbath with them?
4. Jewish women usher in Shabbat on Friday just before sundown by lighting two candles. As part of this tradition, a Jewish wife solemnly prays for the Jewish temple to be rebuilt and prays for family members. To end the Sabbath, Jewish men say the Havdalah blessings, which includes praying for the spirit of the Sabbath to linger throughout the week. We can make the Sabbath a delight by praying about things that matter most, including praying that the joyful spirit of the Sabbath day can remain throughout the week. How might we work together so that both husbands and wives, as equal partners, can do their part to make the Sabbath a delight?
5. Like our Jewish brothers and sisters, we can learn that the Sabbath is the perfect time to bless our children literally and figuratively and to celebrate our shared walk of faith. What are ways for children to hear their mother and father pray to our Heavenly Father for them? (see 3 Nephi 19:23). What are ways to facilitate children (of any age) receiving more fathers’ blessings?
6. Our Jewish friends celebrate both the creation of the earth and the redemption from slavery on the Sabbath. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ, how can we better rejoice in the Lord and celebrate our redemption from death and sin on the Sabbath?
7. Across many generations and many cultures, the ancestors of our Jewish friends have been persecuted and killed. Despite this, or perhaps because of this, our Jewish friends frequently say, with gusto, the Hebrew phrase ��’c�󲹾���! (“To life!”). They take extra care on the Sabbath day to celebrate life—particularly a life devoted to worshipping God and binding couples and families together in and through that worship. How can we better celebrate the sacred and familial joy of life?

Creating Opportunities for Revelatory Experiences (CORE)

1. What intentions do you have to enjoy personal revelatory experiences?
2. How can you and your loved ones encourage each other’s revelatory experiences?
3. What personal and relational activities might encourage your own revelatory experiences?

Notes

[1] Joseph Smith, “History, 1838–1856, volume E-1 [1 July 1843–30 April 1844],” p. 1666, The Joseph Smith Papers, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/history-1838-1856-volume-e-1-1-july-1843-30-april-1844/36.

[2] Quoted in Sheri L. Dew, Go Forward with Faith: The Biography of Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1996), 576.

[3] The term “observant” is used in Judaism to mean those who observe the commandments and religious expectations such as daily prayer, keeping kosher, keeping the Sabbath holy, and so forth.

[4] Quentin L. Cook, “Shipshape and Bristol Fashion: Be Temple Worthy—in Good Times and Bad Times,” Ensign, November 2015, 41.

[5] Loren D. Marks and David C. Dollahite, “Surmounting the Empathy Wall: Deep Respect and Holy Envy in Qualitative Scholarship,” Marriage & Family Review 54, no. 7 (2018): 762–73.

[6] See David C. Dollahite and Loren D. Marks, “Jewish Families: How Teachings and Traditions Strengthen Marriage and Family Life,” Public Square, September 14, 2021, https://publicsquaremag.org/faith/jewish-families-how-teachings-and-traditions-strengthen-marriage-and-family-life/; and Dollahite and Marks, “Approaching God: Jewish and Latter-day Saint Prayer and Worship,” in “The Learning of the Jews”: What Latter-day Saints Can Learn from Jewish Religious Experience, ed. Trevan G. Hatch and Leonard J. Greenspoon (Salt Lake City: Greg Kofford Books, 2021), 115–41.

[7] See David C. Dollahite, Trevan G. Hatch, and Loren D. Marks, “Relational Implications of Jewish Family Ritual and Practice,” in Routledge Handbook of Jewish Ritual and Practice, ed. Oliver Leaman (New York: Routledge, forthcoming).

[8] Blu Greenberg, How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1985), 93–94.

[9] Ahad Ha’am first said this, but it has been widely discussed and debated among Jews. Indeed, a Google search for that phrase returned more than 1.9 million responses. See Amy Kalmanofsky, “Kept by Shabbat,” March 2, 2018, in JTS Torah Commentary, podcast, https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/kept-by-shabbat/.

[10] See Trevan Hatch and Loren Marks, “Judaism and Orthodox Judaism,” in The Social History of the American Family, ed. Marilyn J. Coleman and Lawrence H. Ganong (Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE, 2014), 781.

[11] There are some important differences among the three major branches of Judaism in how the Sabbath is observed. For example, while an Orthodox family would view Shabbat as a chiyuv, or nonnegotiable obligation, a Reform or Conservative family might be more flexible and negotiate around events and conflicts that arise from secular culture.

[12] On Shabbat being ushered in by women and ushered out by men, see Chaya M. Klein, “The Three Mitzvot of the Woman,” ; and Nechoma Greisman and Chana Ne’eman, “Ushering Shabbat In,” .

[13] Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000), 13; emphasis in original.

[14] Russell M. Nelson, “Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints,” Ensign, November 2018, 113.

[15] “American Families of Faith Project,” School of Family Life, Brigham Young University, .

[16] Loren D. Marks, Trevan G. Hatch, and David C. Dollahite, “Sacred Practices and Family Processes in a Jewish Context: Shabbat as the Weekly Family Ritual Par Excellence,” Family Process 57, no. 2 (2017): 448–61.

[17] Dave designed and teaches this course, and Loren has been a substitute instructor for it.

[18] Greenberg, Traditional Jewish Household, 28.

[19] See David C. Dollahite, “Holy Envy: What We Learn by Studying Other Faiths,” RealClearReligion, May 4, 2020, .

[20] Laura M. Padilla-Walker, Sarah M. Coyne, and Madison K. Memmott-Elison, “Media and the Family,” in APA Handbook of Contemporary Family Psychology, ed. Barbara H. Fiese, vol. 2, Applications and Broad Impact of Family Psychology (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2019), 365–78.

[21] Padilla-Walker, Coyne, and Memmott-Elison, “Media and the Family,” 368.

[22] Quentin L. Cook, “Great Love for Our Father’s Children,” Ensign, May 2019, 79.

[23] This phrase is recorded in Plato, Apology of Socrates, 38a.

[24] Typically, a Jewish dance is a circle dance that involves holding hands.

[25] Quoted from The Holy Scriptures according to the Masoretic Text, vol. 1 (Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society of America, 1966). Verse 27 states, “So shall they put My name upon the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”

[26] Tamar Fox, “Blessing the Children,” My Jewish Learning, .

[27] Loren D. Marks and David C. Dollahite, “‘Don’t Forget Home’: The Importance of Sacred Ritual in Families,” in Understanding Religious Rituals, ed. John P. Hoffman (New York: Routledge, 2012), 195.

[28] In several recent articles we have discussed ways that religious parents can approach religious practices in ways that are positive, harmonious, and healthy: David C. Dollahite, Loren D. Marks, and Hal Boyd, “The Best Practices—and Benefits—of Religious Parenting,” Public Discourse, February 6, 2020, https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2020/02/59688/; Betsy Hughes Barrow, David C. Dollahite, and Loren D. Marks, “How Parents Balance Desire for Religious Continuity with Honoring Children’s Religious Agency,” Psychology of Religion and Spirituality 13, no. 2 (2021): 222–34; David C. Dollahite and Loren D. Marks, “Positive Youth Religious and Spiritual Development: What We Have Learned from Religious Families,” Religions 10, no. 10 (2019): 548; and David C. Dollahite et al., “Beyond Religious Rigidities: Religious Firmness and Religious Flexibility as Complementary Loyalties in Faith Transmission,” Religions 10, no. 2 (2019): 111.

[29] Greenberg, Traditional Jewish Household, 27–28.

[30] In this section, we draw from David C. Dollahite and Loren Marks, “Making the Sabbath a Delight: Seven Lessons from Strong Jewish Families,” Meridian, February 23, 2018, https://ldsmag.com/making-the-sabbath-a-delight-seven-lessons-from-strong-jewish-families/; and David C. Dollahite, “Sabbath Observance: Families Can Learn to Make the Sabbath ‘a Delight,’” Church News, December 23, 2015, https://www.thechurchnews.com/archives/2015-12-23/sabbath-observance-families-can-learn-to-make-the-sabbath-a-delight-29143.

[31] Cook, “Shipshape and Bristol Fashion,” 42.

[32] Nelson, “Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints,” 113.