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She frantically struggled for air, but an unnamed force pulled her down deeper. Her lungs filled with water, but no hand reached out to her. Her last conscious thoughts were “I’m dying! I’m dying!”[1] That incident occurred when Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau was just eight years old, but that was only the beginning of a lifelong struggle to ward off the beleaguering “breaking waves” that seemed bent on drowning her in fears, self-doubts, self-righteousness, self-pity, despondency, censoriousness, and other maladies that would have surely plummeted her to the depth of the abyss.However, almost six decades later, Mele is convinced these near-fatal catastrophes were not happenstance, but integral parts of a divine construct intended for her strengthening, growth, and learning. If earth life is the training ground for humankind, then each breaking wave enhances one’s ability to ride the wave rather than succumb to the relentless onslaught of living in a fallen world.

Navigating the Waters of a Turbulent Childhood

Bottom right: Luseane Tupoutu'a Fa'onelua Hoeft, Mele’s aunt who adopted her at birth, and husband, Taniela Lolohea Hoeft, 2014, taken shortly before their passing, Taniela in 2016 and Luseane in 2018 and all their children (counterclockwise from top right): sisters Mele, Deanna, Siniua, and Annette and brothers Feleti and Charl Gene. Courtesy of Siniua Lonely Hoeft.

For Mele, learning to ride the waves began with her very first breath. She was born on December 4, 1956, to high school dropouts in the island kingdom of Tonga. When she was a toddler, a “spilling or mushy wave”[2] rudely swept her from the encircling arms of her biological mother, ‘Ana Fakalelu Fa‘onelua, to the outreaching arms of her eldest aunt, her fahu (privileged aunt), Luseane Tupoutu‘a Fa‘onelua,[3] who could demand anything of her only brother, Sione Fatafehi Fa‘onelua, Mele’s biological father. From then on, Luseane became Mele’s mom. As brutal and unthinkable as this act may seem, in Tonga it is a cultural norm, an honorable act of love and endearment between brother and sister and their respective families. Typically, such adoption strengthens relationships and more tenaciously binds individuals and families together. Mele was showered with love and affection in her adopted home, and she developed an extreme sense of security and confidence that helped salvage her from the huge “plunging wave”[4] that would soon shatter her fantasy world and force her to face some harsh realities of life.

In 1966 her haven collapsed around her. Mele’s mom had decided on a temple wedding to her then fiancé, Taniela Lolohea Hoeft, but before she left for New Zealand, she said that Mele would not accompany them. Though Mele had lived for ten years as Luseane’s daughter, in the eyes of the law Mele continued to belong to her biological parents and thus could not be legally adopted or sealed to Luseane and her future husband. The news devastated Mele. Whatever else Luseane tried to say, it did not really matter as Mele felt the figurative sand beneath her feet give way to the oncoming waves.[5]

This “plunging wave”[6] swamped Mele’s world and threatened to drown her in the pits of desolation. She had never felt so totally detached, dejected, and utterly despondent. Nonetheless, having been raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she was taught to have faith in God and to pray always for his peace and mercy. She did not remember exactly what she prayed for, but as days, weeks, and months passed, Mele began to see things differently. She grasped onto the knowledge that even if none of her earthly parents would or could make a claim for her, she belonged to an eternal Father who would never forsake her. The harsh waves of sadness gradually gave way to the calm waters of gratitude and gladness. Eventually, she realized that she was blessed not to have just one or two sets of parents but three (Psalm 32:6). Though later reunification with her adopted parents would help, it did not stop the continued onslaught of breaking waves.

For months, Mele and her adopted parents found themselves viciously swept along by yet another relentless “surging wave.”[7] Homeless, moving from place to place, and desperately seeking to find an alcove that could help soothe Luseane’s discomfort and struggles with her first pregnancy, Mele’s family found themselves in temporary shelters including a relative’s coconut-thatched kitchen by the seashore, a lean-to shelter by a sailboat Mele’s biological father was building at the time, and eventually the sand at the edge of Lifuka island in a small makeshift hut of sticks and coconut fronds with woven shutters that were folded up during the day to allow the southern breeze to pass through and then let down at night for privacy.[8]

Taniela Lolohea Hoeft uploading cargo to his first little manually powered boat transporting people between the island of Lifuka and the island of Foa, Ha‘apai, Tonga, in 1968. Remainders of the Hoeft home after a tidal wave, 1985. Courtesy of Siniua Lonely Hoeft.

They lived this way for a time while Mele’s adopted father, Taniela, operated a small dinghy that he propelled with a long stick. Taniela transported people going to and from the island of Foa to the capital island of Lifuka—all to provide for his young family. These were difficult times, but the hardships suffered, Mele declares, “compelled us to be humble, to value hard work, to appreciate whatever little we had, to rely heavily on the tender mercies of the Almighty, and to recognize that there were more important things in life than worldly riches.”[9]

According to Mele, living in relative isolation during her childhood (without neighbors, friends or playmates to do what young children normally do) allowed her to pass most of her days hunting for crabs as the little creatures scurried to hide in their burrows in the sand or digging for hihi, small shellfish swaddled in the crannies in the ripraps by the shore. She spent time crawling under the thickets surrounding her home to find land snails or, when at low tides, venturing out on the reef to look for slugs and mollusks. These were the simple pleasures of her childhood.[10]

During this time, Mele found solace and adventure through books. Remembered as the most rewarding of all her childhood escapades, Mele felt she was traveling the vast expanse of the globe through the books she read for countless hours each day. Her parents fueled Mele’s great passion for reading by providing her with whatever reading materials they could find. Most were used paperback books that were sold ten cents apiece by the manager of the Morris Hedstrom supermarket. Mele devoured the content of these books and built her future in education on this foundation of reading. By the time she matriculated to Liahona High School on the capital island of Tongatapu, teachers and others could see that Mele had an uncommon mastery of the English language unlike most students who have just come from the outer islands and were curious to know if Mele had been raised in New Zealand or another Western country.

Mele’s personal growth was paralleled by improvements in her family’s situation too. In January 1970 (just as Mele was preparing to head to Liahona High School), her dad bought his first boat with an outboard motor. Over the next few years, Taniela would save enough to build his family a home right by the seashore. By the time Mele left for university, her dad had opened a small grocery shop. Taniela would later purchase several vehicles—including several buses—and start Hoeft’s Transportation Services.[11] Mele recalls seeing her parents faithfully pay their tithing even when times were desperate, and she still views their steady financial improvement as a direct result of that faithfulness (Matthew 6:33).

Moreover, with what little they had remaining her parents would feed the missionaries and provide shelter for those seeking accommodations when the tides were too rough to cross the channel. Their open home and hearts led them to take in and adopt Feleti, a young stowaway from Vava‘u whom they would see wandering around the streets by their home.[12] Mele considers Feleti to be her dear brother and did not begrudge his opportunity to be legally adopted and sealed to Taniela and Luseane, even though Mele is still not sealed to either her adoptive or biological parents.

A Treacherous Sea of Perilous Choices

Leaving home for a bigger world in 1970, after having lived a heavily cloistered life in her small island community, was truly a fantastical experience. Like Alice exploring Wonderland, Mele was only too eager, too willing to follow any and all paths that could have literally led anywhere. Fortunately for Mele, she was surrounded by wonderful friends in a church school, a gospel-protected environment where she was continually reminded of the straight and narrow path to the tree of life and the iron rod that she could tightly hold on to despite the taunts and jeers from the “great and spacious building” (1 Nephi 8:26–28). These ravenous waves were harder to detect because they were stealthily camouflaged in the small, and seemingly trivial, decisions Mele made daily. As had happened consistently up to then, an unseen power came to Mele’s rescue, and she was again lifted from the “mists of darkness” (1 Nephi 12:17) and helped along her way.

In November 1973 Mele graduated from high school at the top of her class as school valedictorian. The next year, though, she went back to school again to sit the New Zealand School Certificate Examination, which Liahona High School was entering for the first time. Four of the nine candidates that sat the examination, including Mele, achieved full passes.[13] Mele argues that her school success was imperative. Without the academic scholarship she received as a result, she doubts she would have been able to receive her undergraduate education at BYU–Hawaii because her family simply lacked the financial means.[14]

Viliami ‘Unga Afuha‘amango Taumoepeau and Mele Taumoepeau with their children, Tevita ‘Alamoti, Sione Talikavili, Daniel Fredrick, Tupou Maluhola, Mele Teukialupe, Samiuela Puluhifi‘oetau, Manase Taukei‘aho and Penisimani Latuselu. Courtesy of Adi Maulini Makaofilani Taumoepeau.

Mele left her small island country of Tonga for the first time on Christmas Day 1974.[15] Imagine then, Mele’s bewilderment when she arrived at the Honolulu airport and was instructed to take a bus to a designated location and ride an escalator to the immigration processing area, thereafter to pick up her luggage and proceed to the public transportation area. Mele recalls, “If I was dazzled by the streetlights at Liahona High School when I first saw them, I was totally flabbergasted by what was drowning me at the Honolulu airport.”[16] Mele survived that ordeal nonetheless, although her feet were shaking on the escalator, and her heart raced as she spoke with the immigration officer.[17] Once outside, Mele heaved a deep sigh of relief—thankful to have escaped the overstimulation of that environment.

Mele immediately realized, however, that the “outside” was not an escape because she had no idea of where to go next. The two young men (Lopeti Tolu and Tevita Lousiale Kava) that had come off the same flight with Mele, were also unfamiliar with the process.[18] As the three stood there wondering what to do next, “Prince Charming” appeared out of nowhere to take the group to their destination. This man, Viliami ‘Unga Afuha‘amango Taumoepeau, who would later become Mele’s husband, had come to the airport under the guise that Mele’s companions were former schoolmates of his from Tonga High School. Afu (as he was called by others), would later reveal that he had come specifically to meet Mele because of how highly her former principal and school superintendent, James William Harris, had spoken of her. Afu had fallen in love with the image Principal Harris had painted for him even before he ever met Mele in person. In his journal entry that day, Afu wrote, “I saw her that day and thought, ‘Not too bad!’”[19]

Trials and Tribulations

That was the beginning of Mele and Afu’s journey together for life and all eternity! Mele says, “I marvel always when in hindsight I realize I could not have chosen a better route to take.” Afu was exactly the kind of man that Mele needed to save her from herself and to keep her on the “straight and narrow.” He was not just Mele’s boyfriend, her best love and husband, he was a father figure to Mele, who literally helped raise Mele in ways she could not have been raised otherwise. Afu was deeply grounded in Tongan customs, history, traditions, and culture and seemed unusually mature for his age. Mele felt she was a very naive, carefree, and misguided island girl who was still ignorant and lacked the wherewithal to succeed in her duties as wife and mother.

Various snapshots of Taumoepeau family life between 1975 and 2014. Courtesy of Mele Teukialupe Taumoepeau.

Mele and Afu were married when Mele was eighteen and Afu was twenty-four, and the voracious waves seemed merciless in the early stages of their marriage. In Mele’s opinion, however, these were all a part of their refinement process. She learned, for instance, to focus on self-improvement rather than judgment and criticism, to replace selfishness with service, to value humility rather than fame, to “trust not in the arms of flesh” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:19) but in the arms of the Lord, to align her priorities with those of the Lord, to trust in his omniscience and omnipotence, and to realize that all things will conspire for the good of they that love the Lord (Romans 8:28). Mele is thankful for a man that came into her life when he did and helped steady her boat when she was on the verge of capsizing and losing all to the whims of the adversary.

While married to Afu, Mele was standing at a fork on the road, much like what Robert Frost describes in “The Road Not Taken,”[20] except that in Mele’s case, there were three roads available to her and not just two. Mele indicated that as she was nearing graduation from BYU–Hawaii in June 1978, she felt strongly to check out the possibility of going into medical school. She had learned of a premed program, ‘Imi Ho‘ōla, at the University of Hawai‘i and insisted to Afu that they check it out. They went and talked to the director of the program, and, after reviewing Mele’s transcript, the director advised the two that Mele needed to take only a single biochemistry class and she could apply directly to the UH Medical School.[21] When they returned home, Mele realized Afu was troubled by the idea. He suggested they seek advice from their bishop at the time. The bishop counseled against the idea saying that if Mele were to go to medical school, she would be operating on a different plane from her husband and family, and as a Latter-day Saint wife and mother, there would be too much cause for conflicts and tension in the family. As soon as they left the bishop’s office, Afu said, “That’s the end of that!”[22]

Life-Shaping Disasters

Mele and Afu had three children in quick succession while attending BYU–Hawaii and working part-time to support their family. However, a great “tidal wave”[23] savagely uprooted their family and sent them back to Tonga in 1981. Mele was finishing graduate studies at the University of Hawai‘i at the time and was concomitantly training as a bank manager with Bank of Hawaii, a major shareholder with the newly established Bank of Tonga.[24] Mele terminated her training prematurely because of the urgent need for them to return home to Tonga. Two major reasons propelled their move. The first was that the newly established Havelu Academic Prep School of the Church desperately needed an English teacher because the missionary that had served in the position had broken his hips and had to be sent home to Utah. The second was that Mele’s biological father had left his wife for another woman, leaving his wife and eleven young children without any means of support. The shock was earth-shattering! Mele and Afu lost no time discussing what to do. They just knew they had to leave. The move was temporary because one of Mele’s most earnest life wishes was to earn a PhD.[25] In addition, she had promised her parents that she would earn it and had every intention of doing just that. Afu was encouraging because he too had promised Mele’s parents his support of her studies and that he would not stand in her way.[26]

In Tonga, however, the depth and breadth of the incoming waves grew exponentially. Mele and Afu were not only needing to accommodate and feed their own growing family, but they also needed to house and take care of Mele’s eleven abandoned siblings, her adopted siblings, cousins, relatives, and friends who needed a place to stay on Tongatapu while going to school. Most were from Mele’s home island of Ha‘apai, but there were also others from Vava‘u, Tongatapu, and ‘Eua brought by Mele’s children and siblings as friends. On average, Mele said, they would have around twenty or more people in their house on any given day. Mele often wondered how they managed, but they did. Mele indicated that anyone and everyone in their home at any time immediately became family. They shared everything liberally because they saw each child as their own. Mele viewed those times as both challenging and fun! They learned as parents to love unconditionally, to be more understanding and forgiving, to value each child as a son or daughter of God, to look at these young people not as burdens but as gifts from God to increase Mele and Afu’s capacities to love, to persevere patiently, to rejoice in the progress and achievements of each child, and to appreciate more genuinely the family of humankind.

Fa‘onelua family reunions in Koulo, Ha‘apai, Tonga, (December 2018) and West Valley, Utah (June 2021). Fa‘onelua siblings include Tupoutu‘a, Fatafehi, Melenaite ‘Ulukilupetea, and ‘Ana Lata'i Pouono. Courtesy of ‘Amoni Lotulelei Fa‘onelua.

Their temporary three-year plan, however, soon morphed into ten, then twenty, then thirty years, and now more than forty years later Mele is widowed. Afu passed away in September 2014 and is buried in Lā‘ie, Hawai‘i. Most of their children, as well as dozens of others that had stayed in their home, have served missions, completed their studies at BYU–Hawaii, and have started their own families. When asked by some of the participants during her presentation at BYU, “Is it worth sacrificing your own ambitions to help these young people?” Mele’s answer was a resounding “Most definitely!”[27]

Again, in hindsight, Mele argues that the love, compassion, selflessness, and dedication she acquired at home with those children were exactly the qualities she needed to succeed as a teacher and administrator at Liahona High School, the Pacific Area Seminaries and Institutes, and the Tonga Secondary Schools Leadership Program, where she would serve for many years. For example, when she started teaching at the Havelu Academic Prep School and later at Liahona High School, Mele quickly realized that the norm was to “farm out” underperforming students to what were termed career classes, a euphemism Mele believed for “abandoned and ignored.”[28] Mele then began her crusade to promote the idea that “everyone can learn but in their own way and according to their own time clock,” as promulgated by Dr. Louise Bates Ames.[29] Mele and Afu’s practice of accepting and helping everyone who came into their home translated directly into her caretaking of these struggling students.

A Pilgrimage

The passion that Mele had developed for reading and learning now became one of her greatest advantages as a teacher and administrator. She invested in scholarly books and subscribed to scholarly magazines including the Harvard Magazine, the American Society for Curriculum Development, the Master Teacher, and many more. She kept asking herself, what else can I do,[30] and aggressively searched for answers. She was always curious to know what was trending in the field of education.

Mele's mentors, Elder and Sister Meek, International Teacher Education Program (ITEP) missionaries, between 1999 and 2001. Courtesy of Collin Meek.

After teaching English for ten years, from 1981 to 1991, Mele was appointed vice principal for academics at Liahona High School.[31] One of the very first things she set out to do was to organize the school curriculum and to ensure that each and every teacher had in possession a curriculum binder,[32] consisting of a prescription and syllabus for every course taught, a scheme of work based on the syllabus, and daily lesson plans derived from the schemes of work. Before her time, most of these teaching instruments were either missing or simply unavailable in the curriculum. That was one of the greatest upgrades to the school.[33]

Subsequently, what happened daily in the classrooms was directly connected to these prescriptions and guiding documents. The school administration began then to provide what was called Cognitive Coaching, as promoted by Arthur L. Costa and Robert J. Garmston.[34] This meant that when administrators visited teachers in their classrooms, it was primarily to help teachers become more self-directed. Later, this became allied with “Assessment for Learning” as promulgated by Paul Black, Chris Harrison, Clare Lee, Bethan Marshall, Dylan Wiliam, and others,[35] a phenomenon that was later adopted by the Tonga Ministry of Education and practiced nationwide. This concept together with “active learning” were originally created by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, supported by John Dewey and Maria Montesorri, and compiled by Cynthia J. Brame, and became two of the most effective teaching and learning practices spearheaded by Liahona High School and promoted by the Tonga Ministry of Education.[36] Dr. Collin Meek, a service missionary at the time, was instrumental in getting resources to support the use of these concepts both at Liahona High School and the Tonga Ministry of Education.[37]

A Tenuous Hold

Mele Teukialupe Taumoepeau's valedictory address at Liahona High School graduation, November 2014. Courtesy of Mele Taumoepeau.

Church-sponsored schools have been a boon to Tonga’s Saints for many years. The Church in Tonga celebrated its hundredth anniversary in 1991 with fifteen stakes, one mission, and two districts already in operation.[38] Reportedly more than half of Tonga’s population are registered members of the Church, thus making Tonga the country with the highest percentage of members of the Church throughout the globe.[39] The Church owns and operates two high schools: Liahona High School on Tongatapu and Saineha High School on the island of Vava‘u. In addition, there are also six middle schools spread throughout the island kingdom.

In 1996 Mele was appointed first female principal for Liahona High School, a move that was pivotal to the progress of the school but would also be the biggest “collapsing wave”[40] of Mele’s life.[41] Liahona High School had been in existence for more than half a century, having been established in 1947 and dedicated by Elder LeGrand Richards in 1952.[42] The school had an average annual enrollment of fifteen hundred, and the leadership, up to then, was male-dominated. Imagine, then, the great shock to some of the local priesthood leaders when Mele, a presumably weak, naive, and ignorant female, was set at the helm to lead the flagship school of the Church for Tonga and perhaps the rest of the Pacific. Some felt that because Mele was not a priesthood holder she was unfit to lead, and her leadership was doomed from the outset.[43]

Nevertheless, as a new administration, Mele and her staff drafted a School Strategic Management and Operation Plan to upgrade all aspects of the school that needed it. This included converting the school library into a “center of learning” for the school, adding additional computer labs for the classrooms and the library, aligning the industrial arts department’s curricula with the Tonga Institute of Technology to enable smooth transitions of

Liahona’s graduates to higher education in the trades, adding a concert band to the music department, adding state-of-the-art equipment to the physical education department, and reviewing the fine arts department curricula to institute needed improvements.[44]

Mele and her colleagues from the Pacific Seminaries and Institutes of Religion at a regional training in Tonga, 2004. Courtesy of Bruce Yerman.

Meanwhile, some of Mele’s superiors sought to change the administrative structure of the school to eliminate the principal’s position, and both the high school and all middle schools then operated by the Church in Tonga would report directly to an education director, who would of course be a priesthood holder. That change was rejected by the Pacific Area Office.[45] On another occasion, Mele was personally asked if she would just step down or trade places with one of the middle school principals. Mele was dumbfounded and did not know how to respond.[46] Furthermore, Mele was called into a closed-door meeting one day and lectured on “apostasy” because these individuals found Mele’s differing opinions as signs of her walking down the path of apostasy.[47]

Indubitably, Mele’s greatest struggles then were to maintain the morale of her staff and teachers. Many of the decisions initiated by her superiors were hard to swallow. Mele’s typical stance as principal was “Let us humbly obey and be blessed for our obedience, for the Lord, in His own Way and in His own due time will hold everyone to account.”[48] Before long, administrative changes occurred and Liahona’s progress as a school accelerated. For instance, Liahona High School topped the nation not just in external examination results but in national and international competition results in maths, science, debates, computing, athletics, trades, music, fine arts, and so forth.[49] In Mele’s views, these were not the results of a single person’s efforts but rather the concerted efforts of the entire school community. The school’s vision, mission, and action plans were widely shared with all employees. Faculty meetings, which had been fraught with fault-finding and finger-pointing, were replaced with weekly training sessions.[50] The entire school became a community of learners. Teachers were daily supported in their classroom efforts through Cognitive Coaching.[51] Students were assessed daily through “Assessment for Learning.”[52] All were encouraged to adopt the general attitude, “I am responsible,” as promoted by Dr. Lorraine Monroe.[53] For the twelve years Mele served as principal of Liahona High School, the school went from relative obscurity to rivaling the top schools in the nation in all facets of its operation. This could not have happened, Mele is assured, without all the preparations she had had since her birth.[54]

In January 2008 Mele was again appointed assistant area manager for the Pacific Area Seminaries and Institutes (S&I). In this new assignment Mele was responsible for developing the academic affairs for schools in New Zealand, Samoa, Fiji, Kiribati, and Tonga and was swept up, once again, in a “surging wave,”[55] of deep feelings of inadequacy. To combat this concern, she requested and received a scholarship to study for a master’s degree in educational leadership (MScED) at the University of New England.[56] Mele completed this in August 2010, and she believes it was the best possible preparation she could have had for what she did during the remainder of her professional career.[57]

A collage of Mele training Church Schools Tonga teachers, 2010. Courtesy of Lutimila Kaho.

In January 2012 a group of educational consultants under the auspices of the Pacific Leadership Program sponsored by the Australian Government approached Mele about a possible job to provide leadership training for all secondary school principals and administrators in Tonga. The group advised Mele that they had been everywhere else in the kingdom and their local liaison officer, Siale ‘Ilolahia, chair for the Tonga Civil Society, suggested there was one more person they needed to speak with. Mele was their last stop. As they spoke, Mele was immediately overcome by a deep conviction that this job was one of her life’s callings.[58] She was convinced all her experiences to date had prepared her for this role. Hence, before she even submitted her application for the job, she sent off her resignation to her Pacific Area S&I leaders.[59] That sudden move shocked all involved—even her husband and family.

Faith Challenged

During the application process, Mele would compete for this position against a former minister of education, a former director of the Tonga branch of the University of the South Pacific Center, and other highly placed officers of the Tonga Ministry of Education.[60] The only other time Mele had applied for a job was when she applied to teach at Liahona High School back in 1981. All other positions she had occupied since then were solely by appointment. Nonetheless, she was hired as program manager for the Tonga Secondary Schools Leadership Program (TSSLP) and would now encounter new “collapsing waves.”[61] Most of the thirty-three schools she worked with were faith based and owned and operated by different churches. Mele’s office staff were people of diverse faiths, including three from the Methodist Church, a member of the Catholic Church, a member of the Church of England, and two of the Bahá’í Faith.[62] Initially, Mele was suspiciously regarded as a Mormon striving to promote Mormonism amongst them. Some looked at her with contempt thinking she cannot be any good because her entire experience had only been with the “mormon school system.”[63]

However, having become accustomed to opposition, Mele chose to ignore this and focus instead on what she was there to do. She developed a deep love and concern for the children and teachers in the schools she worked with and tried her utmost to do what she could to influence the practices of their school principals and administrators, hoping to create school environments that were more conducive to learning.[64] For example, with her staff, she developed an evaluation and monitoring process based on the Tonga Government’s Educational Leadership Framework, targeting ethical leadership, visionary leadership, organizational leadership, instructional leadership, and community involvement.[65]

Concurrently, through mentoring and coaching Mele became very close with these school administrators, their fears and suspicions were dispelled, and most have remained very close friends. What became clear through their interactions was that they shared more commonalities than they had differences. All of them, for example, believed in a living and loving God; they all believed they were his spirit children; they all desired success for the young people of Tonga; they all were still learners themselves; thus, she concluded they all could benefit more by sharing ideas and resources.[66]

All seemed well until September 2014 when death, like a cataclysmic “pipeline,”[67] crashed into Mele’s humble abode and took her biological mother, a day before it also took her beloved husband and two weeks later, one of Mele’s biological sisters![68] These disasters were enough to crush Mele, but owing to her knowledge and faith in the plan of salvation and the atoning sacrifice of the Son, she calmly weathered the storm and held on to the knowledge that this mortality is but a fleeting moment and that life continues everlastingly.[69]

Over the next couple of years, however, death seemed determined to wreak irreparable havoc in Mele’s life. In 2016 Mele lost her adoptive father and, within the same week, two of his brothers who were living in New Zealand. The following year Mele also lost her beloved adoptive mother and her biological father within the same week.

Thwarted Plans

Various family funerals, 2014–22. Three deaths in 2014, three more in 2016, two more in 2018, and one more in 2022. Courtesy of Adi Taumoepeau.

In a desperate attempt to make sense of what was happening around her, Mele decided maybe one of the reasons why God chose to call home so many of her loved ones was to allow her to continue her postgraduate studies as that had never left the back of her mind. So Mele applied for and received a full-ride scholarship to study for a PhD degree at the University of Auckland in New Zealand. The scholarship offered tuition, accommodations, insurance, books, research travels and fees, and an annual stipend of twenty-seven thousand dollars.[70] Mele thought that surely God had heard her cries! That was until she applied for a study visa and was repeatedly denied each of the four times she appealed. In their denials it became apparent the immigration officers were convinced “Mele was a funeral just waiting to happen.”[71] Mele had known since the turn of the century that she had contracted cancer of the blood, myelofibrosis, but she was on hydroxyurea for life and thought because she had had her condition under control for years, she would be fine. Having failed in her study attempt, however, Mele turned her attention to her work, but as fate would have it, things were not going in her favor there either.[72]

In August 2016 a new government took over in Australia and the former AusAid TSSLP operated under was replaced with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT).[73] The new government priorities changed, and TSSLP’s program fell outside of DFAT’s purview, which was then focused entirely on basic education. Thereafter, Mele and her staff created a nongovernment organization (NGO) named “Takiama Ma‘a Tonga” to offer leadership training and educational research.[74] Their first project was funded by the United Nations Development Program (UNDP) to review the civic education curriculum for the Tongan government and to conduct research on the democratic processes in Tonga.[75] They successfully completed that project, and then between 2017 and 2018, they were sponsored by the European Union to conduct nationwide research on school dropouts in Tonga.[76] They successfully completed that too. In 2019 they received funding from the Tonga Ministry of Internal Affairs to profile all school dropouts in Tonga within the past decade with the intention of establishing a national database that all government departments could access.[77]

Broken but Emboldened

In December 2019, Mele went to attend the BYU–Hawaii graduation of her two youngest children, Mele Teukialupe and Penisimani Latuselu Taumoepeau. She had every intention of returning home to Tonga soon after to continue her work. Thankfully for Mele, God apparently had other plans. Her best friend Falaetau Fineanganofo, wife of former Area Authority Seventy Sione Fineanganofo, provided her with plane tickets to Salt Lake City to see doctors at the Hope Clinic that were offering free medical services.[78] At Mele’s first doctor’s visit, she was advised not to risk returning home to Tonga but to stay and see a cancer specialist. From then on, Mele has been in and out of hospitals for blood transfusions, cancer treatment, dialysis, and so on. Evidently, Utah is the best place for Mele at this juncture in her life. In Utah, Mele is provided with medical and social services she could not have received anywhere else. However, the breaking waves have continued ruthlessly. In March 2022, for example, her eldest daughter, Tupou Maluhola Taumoepeau passed away at age thirty-five from COVID-19, leaving her husband, Siosaia ‘Ofa ki Lo‘amanu Tu‘i‘onetoa, widowed with four young children ranging in age from six to twelve.

Conclusion

Mele from various Hunter Seventh Ward activities throughout 2023: leading ward activities, going to the temple, and serving. Courtesy of Ana Tupou Sitake.

Despite all the wreckage wrought by these besieging breaking waves, Mele is consoled by the conviction that nothing that has happened has been a mere coincidence. All are, she contends, inviolable constituents of a divine fabrication to provide her with the necessary tools she needed for each ensuing phase of her life. Mele’s adoption at birth, for instance, was imperative to providing her with the opportunities her biological parents could not have afforded. Her impoverished childhood afforded Mele opportunities to learn humility, empathy, compassion, and appreciation for the abundance of nature. Mele’s passion for reading, which established the strong foundation for her successes in education and professional life, could not have been accelerated except in isolation without neighbors and playmates. Her early marriage to Afu was exactly what Mele needed for protection; enhanced learning; personal, social, and cultural growth—all of which were essential parts of her success as a school administrator and professional. As unfortunate as the divorce of Mele’s biological parents was, it gave her practice on how to nurture dozens of children at once, how to care for their needs, and how to treat them with kindness and generosity, all of which were required qualities for teaching and school administration. Patience, understanding, forgiveness, and longsuffering could not have become foundational qualities of her professional life without the oppositions she dealt with daily as a school administrator. The loss of so many loved ones had only congealed her trust in the Lord and his purposes. Her thwarted desires and purposes have only testified of the omniscience and omnipotence of the Almighty. The physical struggle Mele has been experiencing highlights her total dependence on the Lord and increases her desire to do his work and submit her will to his. In other words, all the seeming catastrophic waves Mele has experienced in life were never meant to drown her but to help her learn to swim, to paddle, to surf, and to ride the breaking waves.

Notes

[1] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, personal history and journal entries, 1970–82.

[2] Alessandro Toffoli and Elzbieta M. Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves,” Waves Classification, Wiley Library, March 6, 2017, https/10.1002/9781118476406..

[3] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[4] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[5] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[6] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[7] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[8] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[9] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[10] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[11] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[12] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[13] Certificate of New Zealand School Certificate Examination Results, copy in author’s possession.

[14] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[15] “Tonga: Country in Oceania,” Worldometer, May 20, 2022.

[16] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[17] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[18] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[19] Viliami Afuha‘amango Taumoepeau, personal history and journal entries, 1970–74.

[20] Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”: A Selection of Robert Frost’s Poems (New York: H. Holt, 1991).

[21] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[22] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[23] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[24] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[25] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[26] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[27] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, interview by a participant during her presentation in the Church History in the Pacific and Asia Conference, Lā‘ie, HI, March 4, 2023.

[28] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[29] Louise Bates Ames, Your Two-Year Old: Terrible or Tender (New York: Dell, 1952).

[30] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[31] Starlight Lotulelei, unpublished letter, copy in author’s possession.

[32] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[33] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[34] Arthur L. Costa and Robert J. Garmston, Cognitive Coaching: A Foundation for Renaissance Schools (Norwood, MA: Christopher Gordan Publishers, 2002).

[35] Paul Black et al., “Working inside the Black Box: Assessment for Learning in the Classroom,” Phi Delta Kappa 1, no. 86 (2004): 8–21.

[36] Cynthia J. Brame, “Active Learning,” Vanderbilt University Center for Teaching, 2016, https cft

[37] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[38] “Tonga List of Stakes of the Church,” 2020, https://churchofjesuschrist.fandom.com.

[39] Wikipedia, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Tonga,” 2020.

[40] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[41] “�鶹��ý-Tonga,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, https://pacific.churchofjesuschrist.org/to/about-us.

[42] “�鶹��ý-Tonga.”

[43] “�鶹��ý-Tonga.”

[44] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[45] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Liahona High School Strategic Management and Operation Plans,” 1996–2007.

[46] Records of the Pacific S&I Administrative Council held in Lā‘ie, Hawai‘i, minutes at theArea Office in Takapuna, New Zealand.

[47] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[48] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[49] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Annual Historical Reports for Liahona High School 1996–2008,” records available at the School Archives or at the LDS Pacific Area Office, Takapuna, New Zealand.

[50] Taumoepeau, “Annual Historical Reports.”

[51] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Liahona Daily Memo” 1996–2008.

[52] Costa and Garmston, Cognitive Coaching.

[53] Black et al., “Working inside the Black Box,” 8–21.

[54] Lorraine Monroe, Nothing’s Impossible: Leadership Lessons from the Front Lines (New York: Public Affairs, 1991).

[55] Taumoepeau, “Riding the Breaking Waves.”

[56] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[57] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Official Transcript from the University of New England,” copy in author’s possession.

[58] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[59] Taumoepeau, personal history.

[60] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Resignation Letter,” January 2012, copy in author’s possession.

[61] Kristine Needham, “‘Growth Coaching’: Tonga Secondary Schools Leadership Program,” Pacific Leadership Program, Nuku‘alofa, Tonga, January 2012.

[62] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[63] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, personal history and journal entries, 2012–19.

[64] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.

[65] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau, “Records of School Visits and Trainings,” copies may still be available with the Pacific Leadership Program (PLP) in Suva, Fiji.

[66] Seu‘ula Johansson-Fua, “Improving Tongan School Leadership: A Guide” Institute of Education, University of the South Pacific for the TongaMinistry of Education (unpublished, 2012).

[67] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.

[68] Toffoli and Bitner-Gregersen, “Types of Ocean Surface Waves.”

[69] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.

[70] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.

[71] Admissions Director, “Letter of Acceptance: University of Auckland,” Auckland, New Zealand, 2018, copy in the possession of Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeau.

[72] Immigration Officer, “Letter of Denial of Student Visa,” Auckland, New Zealand, 2018, copy in author’s possession.

[73] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.

[74] Stephen Dziedzic, “International Development Minister Pat Conroy Wants AusAID to regain prominence within DFAT,” ABC News, February 8, 2023.

[75] Douglas Armour, “Contract to Review Tonga Ministry of Education’s Civic Education Curriculum” copy is available with the Office Manager for Takiama Ma’a Tonga.

[76] Mele Ongo‘alupe Taumoepeu, “Battling Tonga’s School Dropout Epidemic,” Takiama Ma‘a Tonga Incorporated, copy of research findings in author’s possession.

[77] ‘Akosita Lavulavu, “Contract to Profile All School Dropouts between 2008–18 from All Tonga Secondary Schools,” Ministry ofInternal Affairs, 2017, a copy is available with the Office Manager for Takiama Ma‘a Tonga Incorporated.

[78] Taumoepeau, personal history, 2012–19.